I remember when holiday music used to be an event to look forward to. In recent years I have begun to dread going out in public, and hearing whatever abomination the stores are playing that passes for Christmas music. This past weekend was no exception: the “trash” was blaring at us through every P.A. system we encountered. Throughout the past century, holiday music has been recorded as a product of the styles of its day, so I don’t see why modern music should be any different…but it is. And I feel it’s not so much nostalgia as it is a dislike of lot of what passes for popular music fashions these days.

Let’s face it: most of what is released these days is very poorly executed. A lot of the “popular” Top 40 artists can barely carry a tune to save their lives, and yet they’re attacking holiday classics thanks to the miracle of Autotune and a production consisting of drum machines and synthesizers with fake strings and brass to give it a nostalgic feel at times. Their wretched, off-key singing is just the icing on an already rotten cake. Worse yet, you have a so-called crooner like Michael Bolton feel it is his duty to scream his holiday favorites at us, or a shlock-jazz hack like Kenny G. noodling in his own off-key, vapid style that is supposed to get us into the holiday spirit. I can’t stand their music throughout the rest of the year–why should I have to endure it over the holidays? Yeah, call me Scrooge McDuck, but I could care less. I vote with my dollars, and I have hardly bought any holiday albums in recent years…and I have over 75 on CD alone at last count! I doubt I listen to more than a dozen of them regularly.

So if I’m so damned bitter about this deluge of craptastic holiday music, what do I like? Give me unique takes on familiar holiday classics. The Brian Setzer Orchestra manages to play the old familiar tunes, but gives them a fresh twist via some good old fashioned rockabilly guitar accompanied by a blast of powerful big-band horns. Harry Connick’s big band albums pale in comparison! Country artist Lorrie Morgan did a holiday album several years ago, shedding the twang for the London Symphony Orchestra, and made a really nice album out of it. Roomful of Blues gave us A Roomful of Christmas several years ago, and it gives us a fresh jump blues version of those familiar old songs. Even the Reverend Horton Heat has an album out, We Three Kings…I don’t own it yet, but at least it’ll have some cojones to it. Jazz crooner and guitarist John Pizzarelli gave us a holiday album, Let’s Share Christmas, that utilizes his unique style while honoring the tradition of other pop/jazz singers like Nat King Cole.

See? There are still some original ideas out there! History is full of ’em, actually. Some of our most enduring holiday classics were different from the norm. The Tijuana Brass had their album out in the late 60s, and while it featured the popular TJB sounds of the day, it also added some choral arrangements courtesy of the great Shorty Rogers. Rogers himself didn’t have a holiday album, but did his own version of a popular Tchaikovsky work via The Swingin’ Nutcracker. And how can a holiday pass without thinking of A Charlie Brown Christmas? The soundtrack for this CBS special has been a perennial favorite for years, and it features nothing more than pianist Vince Guaraldi in his familiar jazz trio format. Even Phil Spector had a CD project out featuring Ronnie Spector, the Ronettes, etc. You have to remember that back in those days, many holiday albums were “orchestral” in nature, usually a lot of strings and brass, with a chorus to back them up. Either that, or the strings and chorus accompanied popular singers like Sinatra and Nat King Cole.

I just feel that a lot of these newer recordings today won’t have any “legs”. You won’t see them five or ten years from now, which is actually a good thing. Who knows what our generation will consider our own holiday classics in future years? There certainly are very few, if any, new recordings worthy of that status…at least in my own opinion. They may very well consider my favorites to be theirs also.