Musician Humor: 40 Greatest Lies of the Music Business

While I’m not directly in the business, after reading this list, I’m pretty much convinced that I don’t want to be! At any rate, here’s some inspiration for you budding musicians out there…

The 40 Greatest Lies of the Music Business

The booking is definite

Your check’s in the mail

We can fix it in the mix

This is the best dope you’ve ever had

The show starts at 8

My secretary will take care of it

I’m sure it will work

Your tickets are at the door

It sounds in tune to me

Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall

I know your mic is on I checked it myself

She’ll be backstage after the show

Yes, the spotlight was on you during your solo

The stage mix sounds just like the program mix

The club will provide the PA and lights

I really love the band

We’ll have it ready by tonight

We’ll have lunch sometime

If it breaks, we’ll fix it for free

We’ll let you know

I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking up. It was on the rocks
long before I ever met you

The place was packed

We’ll have you back next week

It’s on the truck

My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album

Someone will be there early to let you in

I’ve only been playing for a year

I’ve been playing for 20 years

We’ll have flyers printed tomorrow

I’m with the band

The band drinks free

You’ll get your cut tonight

We’ll supply someone for the door

There’ll be lots of maintenance guys when you get there

You’ll have plenty of time for a sound check

My other horn is a Mark VI

We’ll definitely come to the gig

You can depend on me